I have Chicken!.......Now what?

I don't know why people look at chicken with this mystical expression, but they do. I'm sorry but I must say that cooking chicken isn't exactly the same as finding the Holy Grail. Look people, chicken is NOT complicated. Sure if you don't cook it well you could get food poisoning and puke for a week but hey, no risk no reward! Relax, you're in good hands.

The Gravy Train Stops Here

For the love of god and all that is good and holy, WHY do people insist on destroying gravy? I was lucky enough to dodge bad gravy this season, but I think back on what my father said to my mother the first time he brought her to his family's Thanksgiving, "don't touch the gravy. It's spackle." He was right. Eventually he broke down and chased his aunts out of the kitchen and commandeered the turkey drippings, thus saving gravy for all in attendance.

OK enough of that crap.

The Salad Bar #1: Real Chicken Salad

I have a very distinct idea about what a salad consists of and it doesn’t include mayonnaise. When I hear the word salad I think tomatoes, fresh greens, carrots, onions, herbs, feta cheese and olives. One of the worst insults to a chef is slopping a bucket of ranch dressing on a beautifully crafted salad. One of the worst insults to a diner is presenting them with a browned, wilted wedge of iceberg lettuce, one thick slab of under ripe, tasteless tomato and shredded carrot. Ick. No wonder little Jimmy won’t eat his veggies. I wouldn’t either! Now I’m gonna show you how it’s done.