I have Chicken!.......Now what?

I don't know why people look at chicken with this mystical expression, but they do. I'm sorry but I must say that cooking chicken isn't exactly the same as finding the Holy Grail. Look people, chicken is NOT complicated. Sure if you don't cook it well you could get food poisoning and puke for a week but hey, no risk no reward! Relax, you're in good hands.